November 22, 2024

Walz Happily Accepts First Shipment of Vaccines

Straight from Beijing to St Paul, the eagerly anticipated Bill Gates vaccine arrived with Governor Walz signing for the package at the Governor’s Mansion late last night. “It’s a glorious day” remarked Walz, while placing his hands on the box. “Along with wearing masks and shutting down small businesses, the vaccine is the final leg of our three prong approach to eradicating capitalism; I mean COVID”.

As reported last week by the Minnesota Loonatic, the aging Minnesota Senate will be among the first to receive the vaccine. Followed by mall Santas and frontline Amazon workers. Walz’ plan is to vaccinate all Minnesotans before the COVID-21 pandemic begins. By then, his supply chain will be well established for future vaccines.

Walz was the first to take the vaccine. He reported mild side effects, which include explosive diarrhea. This photo was taken 5 minutes after his injection.