by “The air particles from Santa’s ‘Ho, Ho, Ho’ expose children and families to COVID” stated Governor Walz in last night’s speech to Minnesotans. Walz’ newest executive order bans hockey games, closes down bars/restaurants and officially cancels Christmas across the state. Political experts believe this is why #WalzTheGrinch was trending last night on Parler.
This is only the second time a Governor has cancelled Christmas in Minnesota. In 1917, Governor J. A. A. Burnquist officially cancelled Christmas as young men were shipping off to WWI and the country needed all metal production to go towards military needs. At that point, toys were made of metal; not cheap Chinese plastic.
The cancellation doesn’t only impact mall Santa. According to his Executive Order, Minnesotans are prohibited from having anyone in their homes from outside their household. Santa’s tradition of climbing down the chimney and placing toys under the tree, would violate Section 6 of EO 20-99.
When questioned by reporters of his enforcement, Walz stated that “if we catch Santa in the act, he may be fined $1000 or spend 90 days in jail. I don’t want to do this to the kids of Minnesota. But our scientists say Santa is a super spreader and we can’t afford to put more strain on our hospitals”.
