November 22, 2024

Theft in Minneapolis up 200% in November, Surpassing City’s Revenue Dept in Looting

Crime in Minneapolis is growing exponentially. Carjackings in the city are up a whopping 500% as reported by Fox News. Although that rate is partly due to a new community initiative where white city residents keep their car doors unlocked so oppressed social groups can temporarily enjoy the experience of their privileged mode of transportation.

A more staggering statistic is the crime of theft, which increased by 200% in the same month. This puzzled city council members who believed their efforts to defund the police would create a more peaceful, utopia throughout the city. Plus, there are a lot less stores to steal from.

Total theft in dollar figures in November was $289 Million, which surpasses the Minneapolis Dept of Revenue’s theft of $246 Million for the month. Department head and the City Assessor will be conducting a workshop on Friday with some of the city’s largest criminals to determine better methods of looting the taxpayers. The workshop is sponsored by the Minneapolis Black Lives Matter affiliate and the famously confused faith group, ISAIAH.