by Minnesota Management and Budget released a new economic forecast for the state of Minnesota this morning which now miraculously shows a projected budget surplus. For the biennium ending this June, the state is expected to extract $641 Million in extra taxes from Minnesotans. This news came right in time for the final decision of the 2020 Caribbean Uniparty Legislative Training Conference.
“The CULT Conference is an important event for all of us who have been hard at work in St Paul” uttered Senate Dinosaur David Senjem (R-Rochester). “We like to throw a couple back with our besties from the Capitol in a peaceful environment, free from the hassles of constituent affairs”. Senjem is known inside the political ranks as a partier and frequent visitor to gentlemen’s clubs.
The event is bipartisan and receives praise from both sides of the aisle. “My first year at the Capitol I was unsure about attending the CULT Conference since it receives taxpayer funding” stated Rep Zack Stephenson (DFL-Coon Rapids). “But I was assured by Majority Leader Winkler that the funding would be hidden in an omnibus bill”.
Over the past few years, several photos and stories about the conference have been leaked to the media, including the infamous 2018 incident involving Kurt Daudt and body shots with incoming fresh men. Daudt agreed to not attend the event any longer as a legislator, however, Minnesota Loonatic received a roster of the 2020 event which included Daudt under the lobbyist category.
“I did not approve of the way Daudt conducted himself that day” said Rep Glenn Gruenhagen (R-somewhere down southwest). “Me and Emily pray for him every night that he has the spiritual guidance to lead our caucus in the right direction. That’s why I continue to support him as our leader and that’s why we attend the CULT conference every year. Plus, I love the fruity drinks”.
Follow the Minnesota Loonatic for future developments of the 2020 CULT Conference.
