by Senate Republican Majority Leader Paul Gazelka announced this weekend that he tested positive for COVID along with other members and staff of his caucus. Capitol observers worry that Gazelka may fare poorly with COVID due to his weak spine.
COVID-19 affects people differently. Those in higher risk classes include the elderly, people with respiratory issues, obesity and weak spines. The virus enters the system orally and immediately spreads to the lungs which are near the spine. Once it hits the spine, it quickly spreads up and down the body affecting brain function.
Minnesota Loonatic’s medical expert, Dr Sanjeev Gupta, brother to the infamous CNN medical expert Sanjay Gupta, expressed grave concern over Gazelka’s diagnosis. “Most men his age would recover quickly from infection. Even the President who is nearly 20 years his elder, made it through quickly” stated Gupta. “But people like Gazelka who lack strong spines, usually struggle for weeks with the virus.”
Democrats are torn on how to handle the news. DFL Senate Minority Leader Susan Kent stated “I think he should resign” due to her description of his recklessness in publicly handling the Republican outbreak. But Governor Walz sang a different tune. “Paul is a man of his word and we’ve grown fond of each other in the short time I’ve spent as Supreme Leader, I mean Governor, of Minnesota” exclaimed Walz. “Paul and I were in a dart league every Friday until this recent outbreak canceled dart throwing. Usually I’d let him win in exchange for his loyalty in delivering Republican votes on big government bills. Paul always came through.”
Stay tuned to Minnesota Loonatic for further developments on this story.
