Walz Happily Accepts First Shipment of Vaccines
by Straight from Beijing to St Paul, the eagerly anticipated Bill Gates vaccine arrived with Governor Walz signing for the package at the Governor’s Mansion late …
Author: Brother Loon
Pimp Discusses Struggle in Minnesota for His Industry During Governor Walz’ Lockdown
“Pimping ain’t easy” is the old phrase commonly used in the world’s oldest trade. But that phrase has more meaning nowadays according to high profile …
Republicans Puzzled by Mysterious Object on Senate Floor
As Senate Republicans prepare to allow Governor Walz to keep his powers to shutdown the state’s economy and lock people in their homes for another …
As Lockdown Looms, Wild Wolf Pack Moves Into Historic Lake Bde Maka Saka Ska Territory in Minneapolis
This week, there were several reports of a wild wolf pack roaming freely around the lake formerly called “Calhoun”. This led many residents of the …
Meet Happy – Governor Walz’ New Ad Campaign to Ease Tensions over COVID Vaccine
Governor Walz, in conjunction with the Minnesota Department of Health, announced a brand new ad campaign targeted towards citizens who are uneasy about the COVID-19 …
Theft in Minneapolis up 200% in November, Surpassing City’s Revenue Dept in Looting
Crime in Minneapolis is growing exponentially. Carjackings in the city are up a whopping 500% as reported by Fox News. Although that rate is partly …
State Budget Projects Surplus; Republicans and Democrats Happy that Caribbean Legislative Conference Back On
Minnesota Management and Budget released a new economic forecast for the state of Minnesota this morning which now miraculously shows a projected budget surplus. For …
Governor Walz Names New Florida Yacht “Liberty” Despite Shutting Down Home State
The Governor returned from his family gathering down in Florida Sunday evening where he spent five days sailing the Miami coast in his newest yacht. …
Upset At Jazzercise Class Cancellation, Republican Gazelka to Write Strongly Worded Letter to Governor
Republican Senate Majority Leader Paul Gazelka woke early Friday morning to upsetting news. His Jazzercise class at the YMCA sent out an email stating the …
Walz Goes Traditional – Celebrates Thanksgiving with Native Americans in Fully Open Casino Restaurant
The Governor’s office released Walz’ Thanksgiving day schedule. After a morning jog/walk around the Governor’s Mansion, and 7 burpees (Schedule 8 am – 10:45 am), …