by As Democrats in Washington struggle to put together a socialist plan to eliminate the college debt of some Americans, former Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton launches his own plan to end the debt of one. The 73 year old career politician, and heir to the Dayton family fortune, married a 32 year old this weekend. With a PhD in Women Studies and over $250,000 in student loans, the young Ana Dayton was unsure how to make ends meet.
“I felt like I was below the surface, in the dark, looking for a way out of the endless abyss” stated Ana during her wedding vows. “Then I found love and it was as shiny as the most desirable gold in a mine”. According to our sources, her debt was immediately eliminated after the ceremony.
The wedding was a small gathering of 260 in St Paul on Saturday. Since Dayton is a former Governor, he is immune to the executive orders of all successors, therefore he was allowed to have a social gathering.
A small press pool was allowed to attend the ceremony which included the Star Tribune, WCCO and satire sites like the Minnesota Loonatic, Right Now MN, and the Minnesota Reformer.
Thank you for the cleansing laugh this story provided me. I was almost crying, reading about The Gov, his private island and fleet of yachts! I need to start every day with a dose of LOON! 🤣